Onii-chan
by Pippi
Summary: A narrative from Natsumi's POV regarding her brother, and what really happened up to when he... well, you know ^_~;. Spoilers for episode 6 (and the other onii-chan episodes *cough* ^^;;)


Well, here we go. I swore I would never write fanfiction again, but here I am, writing the first completed story that I could almost be proud of in around 2 years. Silly, ne? So please, don't be harsh. ^_^ This was inspired in a sudden fit of inspiration by a fanart I just completed of Fuyuki holding a crying Natsumi, and so... I felt like I had to write something. I drew her so happy/sad... Natsumi's such a tragic figure. No one gives her enough credit; she's one of the most complex characters in this show. ;_; Although I love almost all the characters, I find each of them endearing in some way (except a certain irritating character, and NO I don't mean Noeru ) *cough* Anyway ^^; enough of my babbling x.x moving on.  
  
Enjoy the story, minna.  
  
I hold no claim to these characters, because they are not mine, they are property of their respective owners, including Tenshi Project.  
  
  
"Onii-chan"  
by Pippi  
http://senritsu.net/  
If you like Tenshi ni Narumon, visit my Tenshi ni Narumon site, Tenshi no Yume{  
http://senritsu.net/tenshi/  
  
* * *  
  
The feathers wafted to the ground, like the first snowfall of an early winter. And there we were.  
  
His joyful, ringing laughter echoed and rippled through the air as I tore through the tall grass, following that sound.  
  
"Onii-chaaan!" I called. "Matte! Wait for me! Wait for me!" I chased after him, his soft, flannel blue shirt flapping in the wind as he ran, laughing. Oh, dear onii-chan. You always were such a happy person, with that wonderful laugh of yours. The laugh that always put a genuine smile to our mother's face. The laugh that filled me with such gleeful joy whenever I saw you in the morning, at night, and always.  
  
He was running faster that day for some reason; he knows I can't run nearly as swiftly as he can. Such agility my onii-chan had. For a boy, his every movement seemed graceful, with the agility and swiftness of a cat. I always tried my best to catch him, but never could. Onii-chan was always kind though, knowing I could never catch him, he would always slow down eventually so that I could catch up and tackle him to the ground. "Got me again," he would always laugh. And I would hug his arm and smile, because no one in the world was kinder to me than my brother. My darling onii-chan.  
  
Every other day it'd be like that as we chased each other through that wide, grassy field near our home. It was almost like a ritual, as he would run further and further away, and I would try even harder to catch up with him, but never quite reaching him. This field was secluded, and away from the everyday miseries of the grown-up world. The world I hoped I would never be a part of. It was just not worth the pain and suffering I saw them go through. Did it matter, anyway? I was just happy, being little and playing with my brother for hours on end. It's the way it's always been, anyway. Just me and my onii-chan, because he took care of me. He loved me and was more of a father to me than our real father was. But that wasn't his fault, because he had died when I was little.  
  
Yes, it's true that I love my brother entirely too much. Perhaps it's this strange bond we share, he and I. Whenever I get sad, he knows when I am crying, and always comes to comfort me. He always knows... and whenever he would get sad or lonely, I just knew. I felt him sobbing, and I would run to his side and give him a hug. Whatever this bond was, it was a deep connection that we treasured. It was as though we could read each other's feelings, yet it was unusual, for children so young as we were. We couldn't speak to each other using only our minds, though. That was a gift for only the most special. I don't know who, but I knew it was only the chosen few.  
  
Did it matter? Nothing mattered, only the happiness of living for the moment was what mattered.  
  
No, we were not each other's only friends. We had a friend, Kaie-kun. He was my brother's age, and so, I felt like the odd one out at first because I was younger than the both of them. However, Kaie-kun was so kind, and never once made fun of me. Which was good, since my brother would have hurt him had he ever even *tried* to make fun of me. But he was a very nice boy, and we played together often. Of course though, he could not be with us all the time; Kaie was our only and closest friend, but my brother and I were each other's best friends. We were constantly together, and able to do so because we were siblings, of course. Convenient, ne?  
  
Don't get me wrong- our mother loved us very much, and always took us to the beach. Almost every day, for at least an hour or two. I loved the water, the ocean was such a beautiful mystery to me. The deeper you swam, the more you seemed to feel a pull, and the waves enveloped you. It enveloped you in a close hold, and although you felt so utterly alone, floating in the waves, you also felt safe, somehow. I felt as though the water held me in a close embrace, for some reason. I wonder where I got this silly sentimental side of me. Perhaps I got this from my mother... she once told me that the ocean was the color of marble, whose depths could pull you in. Such a sentimental woman, my mother was. I was named Natsumi because of that gripping pull the ocean had on her, and my brother's name was chosen because it was snowing when he was born. Fuyuki. Fuyuki onii-chan.  
  
You know, I think I lied to you. Yes, we could read each other's feelings, but I said we couldn't speak to each other through our minds. Ah... yes, I did lie. How evil of me... it's true, we *can* speak to each other through our minds. I wish I knew what it was called... but my mother told me it was a very special thing, indeed. Only the chosen few could do this special thing, this thing we were able to do. Onii-chan can feel when I am upset. But if he can't come to me, I hear him. "Daijoubu, Natsumi-chan," he would tell me. "It's all right, Natsumi-chan. I'm coming." I could hear him, and I'd stop crying, because of that. I guess I'm lying again, because we both couldn't do that. I wondered how he was able to speak to my mind like that, because I couldn't do it. I could just feel when he was unhappy, or upset. Yet, I couldn't speak to him mentally the way he could send me messages like that. I wondered how he could do it. Fuyuki onii-chan truly *was* a special person. More special than anyone else in the world.  
  
Well, things had not all been peaceful lately. Fuyuki had been doubling over in pain, and I could feel his pain. The strangest thing afflicted my brother, and I did not know what was going on. Mother took him to the doctor, but they did not know what was wrong with him, either. Either that, or they wouldn't tell me what was wrong with him. All I knew was that my brother was in pain. Such serious pain... I could feel his unhappiness, and I cried. Yet I couldn't stop his pain, nor could I possibly ease it in any way. All I could do was hold on to him and cry.  
  
Despite that pain, he still played with me, close to the house, always indoors. We still drove to the ocean because the air was good for my brother, but we had to stop going to the field. It was because although it wasn't far away, even that short distance it took to get there took a toll on his body... he couldn't take the stress upon his body, which had gotten so very frail. I didn't mind not going to the field anymore though, because I knew it was better for my brother. I did miss our ritual though, and I hoped and prayed that he would get better, so that he could be happy again. So we could play together, and so I could feel his happiness. I wanted to hear his laughter again, the joyful laughter I used to hear that was not afflicted with the pain he felt. He felt so weak, and so sad...  
  
That morning, near dawn, I had been sleeping in my bed, when Fuyuki came to my room and woke me up. He seemed happy, and looked much healthier than he had lately, but I felt his sadness. Such intense sadness, and I did not know why. But despite his emotions I was feeling, he laughed, and held my hand.  
  
"Natsumi-chan, guess what! I'm feeling so much better... you know what?" He came close to my face, as his eyes sparkled in the early morning light. "I think I'm well enough to go to the field. We haven't been there at all lately, you and I..."  
  
"Now? It's so early..." I blinked as I studied his face carefully. Well, he *did* seem better... and he looked so eager to go. I did miss our ritual.  
  
"Yes, but the sunrise is so pretty, and we've never seen it from the field. You'd like to see that, wouldn't you? Shall we go? We can have our ritual again, because I feel well enough to run... And I won't run fast at all this time! Ne, Natsumi, do you want to go?" He looked at me with those sincere, honest eyes of his. How could I refuse my onii-chan.  
  
I nodded mutely, as I got out of bed to get dressed. He left to change as well, as I put on my favorite yellow sundress, and took my pretty, shiny red shoes in my hand. I peeked out the door, where Fuyuki was waiting in the hall. He took my hand, and we left.  
  
He was right; he did seem better, and we cheerfully walked, hand in hand, towards the grassy field. I hugged him happily, because I was glad he seemed to be better. When we got there, he let go of my hand and broke into a run across the field. "Bet you can't catch me!" he called, as he dashed through the grass, laughing.  
  
I grinned as I followed him, laughing as well. He was well! He had to be well, he could never have run like this while he was sick... I ran, and ran, trying to catch him, just like we always used to do.  
  
Something was off, though. Today, he wouldn't stop. He kept running, faster and faster. He promised he wouldn't run that fast though! Why isn't he stopping? He wouldn't stop. He just wouldn't stop...  
  
I ran after him, as fast as I could, but suddenly, I knew something was wrong. He felt... distant somehow. He seemed detached, as if he were floating farther and father away from me. I couldn't understand this strange feeling I had. It was as if he had suddently been cut off and sent me hurtling through space.  
  
"Onii-chan! Matte! Wait for me!" He was getting farther and farther away! What was going on? The sharp grass cut my face as I pushed them out of my way, but I didn't care. My brother was running farther and farther away, and I couldn't catch up to him. Was he leaving me? Was he running away from home? I didn't understand anything. I just kept running.  
  
I couldn't find him, because I couldn't hear him laughing anymore, and he had gotten too far away. I didn't see him, and couldn't feel him, either. He felt so very far away...  
  
And that's when I heard him cry out, and heard him collapse. I screamed. "ONII-CHAN!" I dashed over to where I heard him fall, but I saw nothing. He had vanished into thin air, and as I looked around desperately, I fell to the ground, crying.  
  
As I sat there, sobbing, I heard behind me some strange sound, like wings flapping. I ignored it and just kept crying. Until I heard him. Fuyuki onii-chan.  
  
"Natsumi." A mature, deep voice uttered my name. Was that... my brother? I instantly looked up, turned around, and there he was, standing there before me, a long distance away from where I was sitting... I stared at him incredulously. How strange- he had somehow aged... he had gotten older... and was wearing a dark suit and tie?  
  
He stood there, as a pair of magnificent wings unfurled from his back, and spread. I was absolutely speechless as I stood up to face him. The wings fluttered, and a cold, biting wind swept past me.  
  
And that's when I felt him sending me messages. He was talking to me, and yet he wasn't.  
  
"Natsumi, I told you I was better... I'm sorry, but I'm leaving you... I don't want to leave you behind, but they're taking me away... far away..."  
  
What? NO, they can't take my brother away! Where are they taking him? Why are they taking him? Was he... dying?  
  
"I'm sorry, imouto... I can't take you with me. I didn't lie when I said I was better; I don't feel any more pain... I will see you someday, I'll make sure of it... they told me they were going to let me come back, just once more, to see you..."  
  
NO! No, no, no! They can't take him! My only brother, why? Where? Tears fell from my eyes as I started to dash towards him. If they, whoever "they" were, were going to take away the only person that cared so deeply about me, and knew me better than anyone else, then they were going to have to take me with them.  
  
"Wait, onii-chan, I'm going too! Where are my wings?" I reached towards him, as I cried and tried to catch up to him. I ran faster in desperation, as I realized he was turning to go... His wings fluttered, as he started to rise up into the air. If onii-chan had wings, why didn't I? Where were my wings? He can't leave me! What would I do without him? How could he leave me, all alone...  
  
"I can't fly without wings!" I cried desperately, as he flew up into the sky. "Wait!" Onegai...  
  
He disappeared into the misty sky as I felt him whisper one last thing to me. "Natsumi... I am not gone forever; I'll always be with you... I love you..."  
  
The tears kept streaming down my face, as I felt nothing but utter helplessness. I couldn't come with him, and he was leaving, never to return... I stopped and screamed. "WAIT!"  
  
The clouds enveloped him as he disappeared from sight.  
  
"ONII-CHAN!" I screamed, shattering the quiet morning, as the sun finally rose. The sunrise I did not get to watch together with my brother. And he was gone.  
  
All I felt was a cold, harsh emptiness inside of me, when I realized I didn't feel him anymore. I felt as if someone had torn me in half and forever left me slashed and bleeding inside. He was gone... forever... my darling onii-chan! I sobbed.  
  
"Why didn't you take me, too? You didn't give me wings... how could you..." I cried. Feathers fluttered from the sky as I stood there, sobbing. They were pure white and soft, like snowflakes. Like the snow that fell the night my brother was born. I stood there, looking up into the sky, searching for some glimpse of my brother, but he was gone. The feathers kept descending as I stood there, absolutely empty inside. They fell to the ground, but disappeared before hitting the actual soil. Large, silky feathers that brushed against my face, yet vanished. Just like my brother had vanished...  
  
These feathers... a final memory of my brother, Fuyuki. I had to at least touch one... just for the memory. Just for the memory of one last parting goodbye, however distant of a farewell it might be.  
  
I reached out to let a feather drift into my palm.  
  
It fell into my hand, and I grasped it tenderly. But it disappeared.  
  
As did the rest of the feathers. They disappeared, as well.  
  
And now, I was all alone. I felt so completely alone.  
  
---  
  
And so, my brother was gone, forever. I never heard that happy, joyful laughter ever again, and I never, ever went to that field again. I couldn't bear to go see the place that had been a special one for Fuyuki and I... which had also been the last place I ever saw him again on this earth. He said he would see me someday, once more... so I never let go of that hope. Fuyuki would come to me, someday. He wouldn't just leave me behind...  
  
Yet, I missed that laugh. That smile. After he was gone, my mother never smiled again. At least, never again did I see a genuine smile of happiness on her face. Her eyes seemed forever marred by pain and grief. And so had mine, I suppose. I lost the only thing that had ever mattered to me. The only person I had ever loved so deeply from the very first day I saw him. Fuyuki onii-chan.  
  
He was gone. Forever.  
  
And all I could do was cry, and clutch at the feather that was no longer in my palm.  
  
---  
  
~owari~  
  
---  
  
If you don't know Japanese, the words I used in this story are:  
onii-chan = older brother  
imouto = younger sister  
daijoubu: it's all right, it's okay  
  
http://senritsu.net/  
If you like Tenshi ni Narumon, visit my Tenshi ni Narumon site, Tenshi Project:  
http://senritsu.net/tenshi/ 


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